From the moment my preschooler saw the Disney movie Encanto, she was obsessed. Let’s be real, my whole family was obsessed.
There is so much to love: The Latin rhythm pulsing through every song, the multi-racial faces and relationships, the storyline that has “no bad guys” (as my kiddo stated) and instead uses a number of imperfect characters to reinforce the values of family, helping each other, love, empathy, and strength.
If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend you do (if you couldn’t tell already).
Even though my preschooler loves this film it has also raised a ton of questions. Maybe it is the fact that she is at the age of the incessant “why?” or maybe it is because the magical realism of the film leaves a lot of questions unanswered or unclear, or maybe it is because the film shows an origin scene of fleeing from violence and becoming a refugee.
For all of these reasons and more, Encanto has become the topic of conversation in our household at least 65% of the time. The remainder is made up of whining about her little sister or asking for more dessert.
Encancto Obsessed
Since both Jelly’s – my Beautiful Brown Adventure’s co-writer- family and mine are Encanto-obsessed, I wondered if other caregivers were being asked similar hard-to-answer questions and if so I wanted to:
1) share what I’ve been asked and
2) share how I’ve tried to address those never-ending questions, in the hopes that you could share your own communication tips and tricks with me!
To start, I am not an expert in communicating challenging topics with our kids. I often default to the standard response of “well, what do you think?” which sometimes receives interesting answers.
I am a big fan of Dr. Becky’s blog and podcast Good Inside which shares parenting tips and easy-to-follow scripts for parenting’s most challenging situations. She recommends explaining hard concepts to your kids as simply and plainly as possible, and avoiding euphemisms. Be direct in your responses, even if the topic is hard to explain.
Here are some of the questions my 4.5-year-old asked about Encanto, and some responses I have personally used:
*****Warning: Spoilers ahead!*****
Questions about Mirabel and the song “La Familia Madrigal”
Why didn’t Mirabel get a gift?
Why was Mirabel running away from the kids?
Mirabel-Related Responses
We don’t know why Mirabel does not get a gift.
We find out later that by not having a gift, Mirabel has “perspective,” meaning she can see things that her other family members cannot because she doesn’t have a gift. She may not have a magical gift, but she has the ability to bring her family together, by listening to them, supporting them, and understanding their struggles; that is her strength.
She tells her family “You’re more than just your gift.”
Mirabel is running away from the little kids at the end of the introduction because she doesn’t want to tell them that she doesn’t have a gift.
If your whole family got a gift and you didn’t get one, how would you feel?
Questions about Luisa and the song “Surface Pressure”
Why is Luisa so strong?
Why is Luisa sad?
Why is she carrying the whole house?
Why does she cry at the end of the song while hugging Mirabel?
Luisa-Related Responses
Lusia’s gift is to be strong. She often feels that because she is so strong, everyone needs her help all of the time and the requests to help never stop–she never gets a break, and she feels ashamed to ask for one.
Do you know how mama sometimes feels like she has to help get you ready, then feed you, then your little sister needs a diaper change, then you accidentally spill your food, then we have to brush teeth and get out the door and mama sometimes gets overwhelmed with all that she has to do before we go to school? That is how Luisa feels, too.
They show her holding Casita, the whole house, because she is showing how she feels she has to hold everything for everyone. How would that make you feel?
At the end of the song, Luisa feels happy when Mirabel listens to her and cries happy tears of relief. She gives her sister a big hug as a “thank you.” Have you ever cried happy tears? I cried because I was so happy once…[insert example here].
Questions about Bruno and the song “We Don’t Talk About Bruno”
Why don’t they like to talk about Bruno?
Why are they mad about Bruno?
Why are they scared of Bruno?
Why does Bruno look scary or messy?
Why is Tia Pepa wearing her wedding dress?
Why are they getting married in a hurricane?
Bruno-Related Responses:
Bruno’s gift is to see the future. He cannot change the future, or cause things to happen, he just sees it. And sometimes, those visions show bad things happening, which makes people feel anxious and scared.
He sometimes sees things that make people unhappy because bad things happen sometimes.
People can be scared of things they don’t understand. For example, when one character said Bruno said that their fish would die he was just trying to let them know; he did not cause the fish to die. Fish don’t live as long as people, sometimes only a year!
Bruno’s disheveled appearance, especially the way cousin Camilo represents him, can be somewhat scary as well.
Also, the man lost his hair because some people lose their hair as they get older, it just happens!
Tia Pepa is wearing her wedding dress because they are telling their story about her wedding and making believe they are there when it happened.
They get married in a hurricane because Bruno warns her about the weather changing and she gets worried, which causes the weather to turn from a sunny day to a hurricane since her emotions impact the weather. What kind of weather would you see if you were sad or worried? Rain? Sun?
Questions about Isabela and the song “What Else Can I Do?”
Why is Isabela sad?
What does it mean to be ‘perfect?’
Why did she make a cactus? Why is she surprised?
Why does she hug Mirabel?
Isabela-Related Responses
Isabela’s magical power is to make flowers. Her family expects her to make beautiful flowers. She wants to do what helps the family.
Isabela is sad because she feels she has to make perfect flowers all of the time. She doesn’t feel she can be whomever she wants because her family wants her to be a certain way.
She thinks they want her to be “perfect,” which means she can never make a mistake. This is hard for her because everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Have you made a mistake? Do you know mama makes mistakes all of the time [insert example here].
She makes a cactus because she is angry. She is surprised because she has never allowed herself to make something like that before – she makes perfect roses all of the time. She is excited to see that she can be more than just pretty flowers.
She hugs Mirabel because Mirabel listens to her, and helps Isabela see that she can be whatever she wants to be.
Questions about Abuela, Abuelo Pedro and the “Dos Oruguitas” song
What is this song about?
Why is Mirabel there?
Who was chasing them?
What is a refugee?
What happened to Pedro? Where did he go and why did he disappear?
Why is Abuela sad when she gets the gift? Where are Abuela’s babies?
Why do Abuela and Mirabel hug at the end of the song?
Abuela & Abuelo Pedro-Related Responses
In this song, Abuela is telling the story of when she was young. Abuela had three babies with her partner, Abuelo Pedro.
Mirabel is there because she is listening to the story and making believe that she can see what happened when Abuela was young.
Sometimes people live in places that are unsafe, and that isn’t fair. When they have to leave where they live they are called “refugees.” Abuela and Abuelo Pedro have to leave their home and bring their neighbors with them. We don’t know who was chasing them, only that they made Abuela and Abuelo Pedro’s home an unsafe place to live.
Abuelo goes back to protect the family from the dangerous people who are forcing them to leave their home and he never comes back. We don’t know exactly what happened, but when he disappears the miracle happens: the candle turns to magic, the mountains grow, and Casita is built to protect Abuela and her babies.
Abuela is sad even though she gets a magical gift because she misses her husband. She is all alone with her three babies – Tia Pepa, Julieta (Mirabel’s mommy), and Tio Bruno.
Mirabel listens to this story and learns more about her Abuela. She understands why she works so hard to protect the magic and her family. At the end of the song, both Mirabel and Abuela hug because they understand each other better, and love each other very much.
The music of Encanto has become the soundtrack of 2022 in my house – for example, we have a dance party every night and even our 18 month old can sing “Bruno-no-no-no-no!” We salsa dance around the kitchen, practice the cha-cha to “We Don’t Talk About Bruno,” and watch the movie most weekends.
Common Sense Media recommends it for kids aged 6 and up, but with the right scaffolding and support your preschooler (and even toddler) can enjoy this catchy movie and begin to understand the messaging about loving, helping, and supporting your family.
Bonus: I have mentioned how Mirabel helps her family set up and clean for the party when I’ve asked my daughter to help more around the house – it has motivated her a handful of times. Gotta use what works!
What questions have come from your kiddos about Encanto? What do you think, and how have you responded? Share in the comments below.
Click here for more recommendations about how to talk to your kids about Encanto from Common Sense Media.
Finally, I’ll leave you with the most adorable video of my 18 month old singing along with me to “La Familia Madrigal.”
Puerto Rican & Indigenous mama of two. Bay Area native. Salsa dancer. Backpacker. Doula. Angel (she/her/hers) is a co-founding member of the Beautiful Brown Adventures team. She has traveled to over 30 countries and loves to explore the world with her two daughters & partner - one ice cream shop at a time.
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