Our Thoughts on Antiracist Travel with Kids
No matter where you go, traveling exposes us and our families to people who are different. Raising mixed-race children has really made me reconsider practices I’ve done while traveling, how I’ve viewed myself and my privilege, and what I am doing to raise antiracist children.
I’ve been trying to figure out how to do the right thing – but what exactly is the “right thing”?
Research shows that kids pick up what parents say or don’t say: that even babies demonstrate racial preference if not exposed to people who look different than themselves. This led me down a path of researching how to talk to little kids about race, how to be an antiracist parent, and how to raise antiracist kids.
My parents didn’t talk to me about race, and they raised me – a little mixed-race girl – in a very white suburb. Because of this, and because I don’t want my mixed-race daughters to grow up in a world where they or anyone else feels othered or discriminated against, I want to do better.
How do we apply antiracist teachings to our experiences with our young children while traveling?
Where do we start?
First, we must understand what being antiracist is and why it is important. I love the way @themomtrotter frames it here. She references Ibram X. Kendi who wrote the book How to be an Antiracist and the board book Antiracist Baby when considering at what age to start teaching children about race and being antiracist. He states:
“From my understanding, when parents desire for their kids to be not racist, they typically do not talk to their kids about race.
They avoid conversations about race or even explaining the racial inequities and dynamics in their community. As a result, typically, those kids are taught to be racist by society.
And so by contrast, when you’re essentially raising a kid to be anti-racist, you’re deliberately encouraging them to talk about race and racism.
You’re deliberately teaching them that all the racial groups are equals. You’re deliberately showing them, yes, there are different colors and there are different cultures. And we should value them all equally.”
Author
we are raising global citizens
I reviewed concepts about raising antiracist kids from Antiracist Baby and a few other blogs about and reframed them with my thoughts on how to raise antiracist travelers.
Our kids learn from us, and the pressure is on – we teach them by how we travel, where we spend our money, what we do, how we respond to their questions, and who we interact with to be antiracist – not only at home, in our neighborhoods, or at school, but throughout the world.
10 Thoughts on Raising Antiracist Travelers
Read on for more
1. Talk to your kids about race.
Even newborns see differences in skin color and tend to have preferences to what they know. Discuss who and what you’ll see before you go on vacation, especially if you’re going somewhere where people look different than you. Point out who you see and what you see. Sing the Daniel Tiger song “Find out what’s different and what’s the same.”
Don’t hush your kids when they notice race. Speak about it respectively and scientifically – mention melanin, talk about skin colors being different. We talk about how everyone in my mixed-race family has a different skin color. Notice who your child spends time with and find ways to introduce your children to people who look different than you.
2. Acknowledge your privilege. Check your privilege.
If you’re white, recognize your white privilege. If you’re BIPOC, recognize your privilege too. Ijeoma Oluo talks about this in her book So You Want to Talk About Race as she describes having to check her own privilege as a college-educated, light-skinned, able-bodied, person living in a progressive area in safe housing, for example. It is a privilege to travel. It is a privilege to have a passport. It is a privilege to be able to leave your country. It is a privilege to be able to return to your country.
Talk about privilege and injustice with your family. Here is a sample of something you could say to your kiddo based on some guidance from Raising Race Conscious Children “Some people have more access to things than others, that isn’t because they don’t want to travel, it is because policies in place have kept them from being able to go to college, get well-paying jobs, or has limited the safety of their government and now they are unable to leave their country as we can. It isn’t fair.”
You can consider the power dynamics in your travel activities, too. Tiana Attride mentions in her article in Here Magazine titled “5 Things Travelers Can Do Now to Combat Racism” that you should consider a few questions before you embark on your next trip:
- When you’re traveling to a non-English speaking, predominantly BIPOC country, do you expect others to accommodate your language needs?
- When you take photos of or with locals for social media – especially during voluntourism trips – are you considering the power dynamics at play?
- Are the events you’re participating in making a spectacle of (rather than show genuine appreciation for) a local culture?
3. Read diverse books, learn about people, culture, and food before you travel. Educate yourself first then share with your kids.
Read books about where you are going with your children and, if they are old enough, prepare them for the trip through videos on YouTube. Ask about things that are different, and things that are the same. This is not to compare, but to allow for questions to emerge, for your child to be prepared for differences, and to better understand what they see. Seek out travel bloggers from the countries you are visiting.
Learn about the foods you are going to try and get your kids excited too. Educate yourself about race in the cultural context of the place you are going so you are prepared to answer questions from your little one.
4. "Point at policies, not people."
A quote from Antiracist Baby. Children love the idea of what is right and what is wrong. Children believe in justice. They love to follow rules and are quick to let you know if you’re not following them too. If you see injustice, call it out. For example, see this sample script about talking with children about homelessness:
“The world we live in is unfair. Some people have a lot more than they need—and because of that, other people don’t have enough of what they need. This man is asking for money because he doesn’t have enough of what he needs: food, a home, etc.”
5. “Celebrate all our differences."
I love this quote from Antiracist Baby:
“Antiracist Baby doesn’t see certain groups as ‘better’ or ‘worse.’ Antiracist Baby loves a world that’s truly diverse.”
You can point out differences as you see them, in books, at the dinner table, while watching movies and shows. Notice how people look different, how their hair is different, how their food is different, then celebrate that.
Different is good. Different is ok. Different is normal. There are no values assigned to those differences.
6. Pay attention to where you spend your money. Do your research.
Buy from locally run, well-respected places, and preferably those owned and operated by BIPOC. Do not go on tours that put culture as a part of a show, but instead actually engage you in learning about cultural practices, traditions, and which pay their staff appropriately. Tradition-holders are often the ones put on display for tourists and not paid for their skills. Notice power differences and choose where you spend your money wisely.
If you tried an activity and realized after that it was not a good choice, be honest with your children. Tell your child why this was unjust, what you wish would have been different, what you’d do differently next time, then share with us so we can let other parents know, too.
One thing we are trying to do ourselves is to make donations to the Indigenous tribes that are local to the areas you are visiting.
7. Call out racism when you see it - even if you're the one doing it.
Let your children know you make mistakes too and that you are learning. You are curious about people and the world but never “all-knowing,” as Kendi says in Antiracist Baby. It is ok for you to make mistakes, and even better for you to tell your child that you make mistakes too, because that lets them know that they can make mistakes and it is ok! As long as we keep trying.
8. Value our relationship to the natural world and those around us.
Dr. Megan Bang’s work focuses on the importance of Indigenous teachings and the relationship with the land and those around us. She says:
“For Indigenous peoples, our pasts, presents, and futures involve living and being in reciprocal, consensual, and sustainable relations with the natural world, which includes human relationships to each other as well as with lands, waters, landscapes, atmospheres, and plant and animal nations.”
If we model for our children this reciprocal relationship – that we depend on the land, on our neighbors, as they depend on us, what an amazing gift we would be giving our children. Children are learning their role in the world. Let’s expand it and value our connectedness with the natural world beyond our neighborhood and help our children develop their sense of empathy.
9. Be authentic. You don't have to have all of the answers.
When your child asks a question you just don’t know the answer to or are not prepared to answer yet, tell them: “Wow that is a great question, let me get back to you on that.”
They can wait – just make sure you get back to them!!! Let your kids know you are learning too.
10. Continue the learning journey, even after you return home.
Perhaps your trip will give you insights into your non-travel lifestyle. In what ways can you put these principles into practice, even while at home? How will you share what you did with other families or on social media?
I am new to this and learning as I go. Sometimes I feel like I’m wandering down a path alone, trying to figure out what to do and what not to do – but I know I’m not alone because I am on this journey with all of you!
I hope this page will be a living document, where we will edit as we learn more, adding suggestions and pain points for older and younger kids. We are not perfect-I am still learning about my privilege and wrestling with the fact that I have half-white children and am unsure what that means for them and their identity. Being antiracist is a journey that I am embarking on.
Would you care to join me?
Please let me know if this is helpful, what questions, comments, or suggestions you have on raising antiracist kids and having these discussions while traveling. I’d love to know what you think or what other resources you have. Share in the comments below.
